choose...

I have to admit that sometimes I wish sweet healing didn't have to rise out of great pain and that creativity would move in moments that were not so full of the tension of pulling apart this heart, mind and soul! But here I sit with my words being dripped out as the only antidote to the doubt and the broken heartedness of these precious breaths…you see I sit and watch and know life is waiting for me to engage her once more; offering me the choice to stay in the present moment fighting for Gods breath of Peace that hovers just above all of these circumstances! To simply choose Joy repeatedly…..so much easier typed than accomplished!
This mind fluttering to and fro with wonderings unexplainable but Hopeful for some place to rest these weary and chaotic reasonings. 
My choices, yours choices and His will all scattered across the space, trying to clearly see me and still see Him in all of this! Knowing, Father, You are indeed here and You are in the very depth of me and my heart space that still reaches to sin against the very Love You rescue me with again and again! Ahhh there it is the deep gasp, and You've done it again! I remember You are indeed my one and only soul mate; teach me to rest in this Wisdom! Meeting me in the written depths as I make real what lies beneath by letting it permanently mark the pages as actual words, both thought and now spoken into print! I'm struggling to chose to Trust You Father, I'm broken and bent towards doubts and yet perfectly poised for Faith to sink deeper! 
I'm reminded I am on this path You have called me to….right here, right now and it is destined for greater things than I can fathom! But my eyes are stuck on that which has just been ripped away, ugh so broken in that space…My eyes need your help Father. Draw me back to Your gaze. That place where I truly forget everything else except for what You say and see in me. The battle for TRUTH to capture me again! Help me find the Word of Truth each day, cause I'm desperate, like each man(whether he knows it or not), for Your help! 
The Words You've revealed through the mysterious way that You do, seem to all point to that hard surrender of Fear for Your helping Hand instead…so my palm opens and I reach up from the mire….take me wherever we need to go Daddy…I won't fight You! When I am afraid I will trust in You, show me The Way beyond this dark shadow! Great faith comes through great trails and great pain…You are not alone sweet soul…grab His hand, walk, wait and watch as He refreshes your souls! Trade in your fears for His Peace…Choose and if you cannot, then ask Him to on your behalf. He is faithful my beloveds…ever so faithful!

Isaiah 41:9-13
9 I have taken you from the ends of the earth. I have called you from its farthest parts, and said to you, ‘You are My servant. I have chosen you and have not turned away from you.’ 10 Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will give you strength, and for sure I will help you. Yes, I will hold you up with My right hand that is right and good.11 See, all those who are angry with you will be put to shame and troubled. Those who fight against you will be as nothing and will be lost. 12 You will look for those who argue with you, but will not find them. Those who war against you will be as nothing, as nothing at all. 13 For I am the Lord your God Who holds your right hand, and Who says to you, ‘Do not be afraid. I will help you.’

Mark 5:36
36 "Don't be afraid, just believe"

Psalm 56:3
3 "When I am afraid, I will trust in You."