What Grace is this....

Grace encompasses so very much more than my teeny mind can comprehend but when You glimpse before me deeper meaning I am captivated and simply in awe! With a little crumbled up piece of paper in my hand that reads “My Grace is sufficient enough for you.” My heart opens just a bit more to understanding Your words. Its as if I could feel You whisper into me, “Return to grace with every breath, in every breath and for every breath, and beloved it will be enough for you!” Grace stifles out the constant verbal thinking that insists you have not done enough, worked hard enough or achieved enough. You have not made all the right decisions or accomplished all the expected successes. You have not prayed enough, loved enough, served enough, lived enough and the oh too powerful and familiar thought, “you are not enough.” Grace meets these thoughts right from whence the darkness came and quietly responds, “I accept that, and it may very well be true in this world, but it does not change the fact that I am still accepted enough and loved enough, by the only One who truly matters.” For by the Grace of God I am who I am, right here and right now with all my failures, shame and disgrace. This is my story, all of it! It takes back the power from the darkness and returns it to the source. Those words of yours lose their influence and any control they had over you, as you begin to accept them and then quickly turn to the One who accepts you no matter whether these things are true or not; whether they can be counted or covered. I suppose I just never looked at Grace quite this way. I suppose I always looked at Grace as what God gave me after I had sinned. Not what He gave me during my sin. Not what He offered me in every moment. Not what He provided to save me from myself! But here it is a very sweet exchange of all my “not enough’s” for an all powerful “I said you are enough!” Grace does not always change us immediately but it does remind us of how very much He loves and believes in us! It is just the most endearing gift! He does not try to change us or insist on us doing it His way (because He knows that we cannot without Him), instead He offers Grace and through a numerous and continuous offer of that very Grace, we usually find ourselves transformed deeply over time!

Your life is then no longer the sum of all the places you did it right, the places you succeeded, the places you excelled; but instead it is more about the place you went after you had done it wrong, after you had completely failed or screwed up, perhaps again and again. It seems so unfair, it seems like we should pay for it or earn it....but it is simply offered over and over. I would argue that Grace feels like betrayal, especially when we are asked to extend it unto others. To simply accept that someone, as they are with all the things they have done, even those things that hurt you; that they deserve Grace! Our minds will often scream, “but they haven’t earned it, they haven’t even begun to change their behavior.” Insert the prodigal son story here, remember how it plays out. Remember Jesus came for the sick not the well and aren’t we all suffering from just a little of the sickness? But you see, that is the mystery of Grace and the beauty of it’s supernatural healing power. Grace feels a lot like love, it accepts injury and insult without a fiery tongue that lashes back, accepts rejection and betrayal without vengeance having its way, accepts that everything is beautiful just as it is, broken and messy and that there is still light to be found in every space you look! It smiles at the darkness welcoming its taunts and then without shame turns to bathe in the Light. Even as I write this down, I feel as if I want to stop my hands and utter aloud, ummm....now hold on here! Isn't this giving an excuse to people making bad choices to keep making bad choices and never change? Don't we have to do something, if we don’t change and do things right then Grace will surely stop. It is as if I want to attach a warning, a fairness button, if you will, for all of us who are making the right choices today....but wouldn’t it be an utter shame if I had my way! Wouldn’t all of my wrongs look so much different if I could not see them through the lens of Grace! This reminds me of that story in the bible about the workers who were paid the same wage no matter what time of day that they had started working.......so here we stand 2000 some odd years later complaining of the same treatment. Surely those who have sinned much should not receive the Grace I did when I came to work for you Lord. Surely the man who murders, rapes, abuses, steals cannot find His name among those in the Grace Story. Surely those who continue to hurt people and themselves cannot touch Your Grace and receive from it the healing, peace, comfort and love it offers. But who are we to decide what each man will be paid for their labors here on earth. I know it feels wrong but I have come to understand it as perfectly right...It is AMAZING GRACE!