Well, I guess here goes, just to break the spell...as I have felt the draw back to these keys and the words pouring over my soul...I have also felt a hesitation...but perhaps today is the day after all...to simply write out what is writhing in my heart! Where does love go in those moments as we stand before another human and search ourselves for what it is that sets us apart; what it is that we have that they do not? Do you even realize that you do this? I am uncertain if it was Gods design or our self centered nature that does such a thing, but if we are honest we all do this. But you see this is where it all begins to unravel for us, because our hearts are faint and our minds weak and our flesh hungry we can easily seep right into judgement instead of love. I am by no means a person who does not understand the importance of making choices that keep us free, but I also see somewhat of an interesting dynamic occurring in this space. If it was as easy as simply calling out the problem, wouldn’t we all just be instantly healed as soon as someone told us what our behavioral problems were? Much like telling an addict to stop being addicted, or an anxious person to stop being anxious, or a believer to stop worrying and just trust in the Lord; our judgements of others do nothing to set them free, even and especially when we are correct in our assessments. If anything it keeps them trapped. But Love, it sets us free!!! I suppose the best way to get to where I’m going with all this talk is to start with a story of my own! I recall like it was yesterday, the empty night that led me to a new freedom. I sat just entering my journey with Him, recalling my stubborn heart that the one area I already decided I would never succeed in was my purity. Why you ask? I had way too much hurt there? Too much confusion and comfort to let go? Too many lies and repeat offenses to see with any sort of clarity? But I remember gasping for breath as I recognized the prison I had built around my life and my beating heart falling from my chest drenched in bloody tears. May I add it was not at the hand of a critic, a pastor or a “concerned” bystander. It was in the quietness of my surrender in a moment that He reached in and pried from my fragile hands the lie that had robbed me of Him and a portion of His love for much of my life! I had been arguing for months with Him, myself and others about the validity of my stance. About the rationalizations I could fragment together effectively into a sound argument that quieted the voices and satiated the flesh...sure it was desolate but it was mine and I had no idea there was another way until He showed me. But into the breath of this silent night He would brush directly across the wound and reveal what I needed the most and it did not resemble what I thought I wanted the most. The words sounded like Love! If there ever was a sound made in pure love it was His voice in this dark night, which would illuminate my soul and my sin and usher in a treasured repentance that had laid in wait! His breath warm, close and clear whispered, “I simply want you to know what I meant when I created this exchange of intimacy. I want you to experience it the way I meant it, Sarah. That is what I have for you.” Those words changed everything, all my stubbornness fell off like scales and I sat weeping taking the bricks down one by one! You see it wasn’t ever gonna be the judgement or rules of another that did what this moment did. I was instantly set free....Maybe I’m not being clear! Here is the raw script of my life, promiscuity was my vice, I used it to control the world around me and hide my vulnerability. I would never allow a man to pursue me or find me waiting...I would lead the way and therefore keep myself safe! Yeah I know, messed up right, but you see I lived in a world as a child where this precious beauty of purity was stripped from me over and over again and somewhere in the midst of horror the enemy twisted my eyes to grab hold of what they wanted from me and use it to control my hurt! It has been 9 years now free and celibate and I always think of the woman at the well when I now stand pure before another...you see this is how Jesus came to me. He searched my heart for the wound, He did not stand in front of me condemning my acts but instead showed me the Source...He wanted to show me why I was doing what I was doing and reveal a far better reality to the one I had chosen to settle for! Those words He whispered told me there was better, there was more, there was hope...it beckoned me to wait for the very best He had to offer when He designed this thing, that I knew nothing of, termed “making love”! He wanted to reveal the reality of it’s beauty rather than letting me sit in the perversion of it. And it was there in that freedom that my behavior would instantly change...why??? Because His words had set my wounded heart free forever! So why is it that when we see a brother or sister failing or falling short that we call them out but leave an unfinished work? I mean we have no reservation in telling others what is off in there behavior but do we ever stand in front of them with a heart just as broken as theres is and lift the veil, and allow that the Lord would use us or whisper through us as we search along side these broken hearts for the reason why, the source from whence it came? The last time you looked on and criticized or made judgement of a woman for her immodesty did you ever stop to pray and ask the Lord to reveal to you or to her why she was choosing this way of behaving. The problem will never be healed and the behavior never changed until she sees the wound, the disfunction and understands there is another option; one of hope and freedom...This isn’t a debate issue for our church goers to feel righteous about, this is a heart issue among Christ followers who are still and always will be broken until the moment we sit before His throne! I am not saying that accountability and confrontation are wrong or bad, but I am saying those are only the beginning steps and they should never be taken unless we are willing to stand in the gap with this soul until the Lord helps them see what it is that their heart has settled for in place of His best. This is what love does, it sets us free! The freedom to stand with a child of God as He holds their heads up and eyes open until the walls fall down! We do not simply yell at the prisoners, hey guess what we can all see you are in prison! Instead we enter their prison for a moment and help tear down the walls. But you see we get so easily frustrated when the behavior doesn’t instantly reflect what we have just revealed to them, as if we thought telling them they were in prison would spark some sort of freedom! When they aren’t instantly eager to follow us in tearing down these walls we grow impatient because we are right after all!!! And more often than not we will leave them, give up on them and judge them further into their cell. I believe that the realty offends us that our informing others of their faults is not what does the healing here; oh we are so arrogant. It is Him alone that offers us a place to rest our weary feet on the narrow path. Him alone that offers us a glimpse of the light on the outside of our prison cells. So when we enter their cell should we not be in step with the Savior, Him going before us to search the heart that we will never be able to understand without Him!!! Delivering the words, the courage and the Love that is actually able to strip the mortar off the bricks that leave them trapped! But often that is way more work than we are willing to do for our fellow prisoners of war; that is way too risky and painful! Ah but you see when we are set free ourselves then we can do nothing other than seek for the freedom of others. I remember a young woman who was ostracized in her church for dressing like a man, when the entire time not one stopped to investigate the why? You see, she was being abused sexually and was resorting to hide in her body and clothes as to no longer appeal to those that could potentially hurt her! But no one sat in prayer and fellowship long enough to see her prison and help tear it down. We all feel compelled in this story. But do you realize the girl who is dressing too provocative is doing the same thing, just in a different way! When was the last time you kept eye contact with her and asked the Lord to show you her wounded heart and asked her to share her story that you would enter her prison and begin to see life as she does. When you yourself are free, this is what you will do...long before you tell others or complain of her faults. You will see her wounds and desperately plea for the Lord to help heal them and you will sit with her reminding her of the freedom that awaits, not piling on the bricks that keep her captive. Everything we do comes from a source! Every decision we make stems from a origin! Every thought we think derives from a spring! This is true for all of us and the whole entire purpose of this life that you and I have been given, is to identify that source, that origin, that spring more and more as the One true living God, instead of the many options the enemy offers us daily! But it is a process we are all still very much in...no matter our outward behaviors! Can we become free enough to accept this? Do we trust our God is big enough to do what He says He can? Will He set these captives free? I mean look around and if your eyes are wide open you know we are all in prisons of our own. Sometimes those prisons seem safer than the unknown outside world. But He comes to set us free!!! Yet without Love, there is no freedom...without Love there is nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3) Are you free enough to love like this? Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Everything Christ did for people was to set them free, not to keep them imprisoned and judged and sentenced again and again! May we become aware we are on a journey to help set people free from the tirade of the enemy; love is the best place to start, it is where Jesus is! John 8:31-32, 1 Peter 2:16, 2 Cor 3:17, Rom 8:20-21, Gal 5:13-14...so much talk of freedom in the scripture, may we each find our role as freedom seekers and freedom adventurers willing to sacrifice to see others set free! In the words of William Wallace....F R E E D O M!!! Rest In Him Fellow Freedom Adventurers...I love you!!!
