Rest In the Arms of Love

11 August 2010

I guess today I just wonder why my sleep is troubled with dreams of the same nonsense I could occupy my mind with all day long. In my sleep I think I forget You are still present; as so many of my moments of the day do the same! My heart is torn…I know that I am beginning to love as You have asked Father, I know because it is despite myself that I see and trust in You as the final Author of all the plans of every man’s life. This is Love! That I can stand by and allow people to make wrong choices and indulge in their false selves and meanwhile remain beside the door of who they truly are waiting for them to arrive and step into that identity; always centering in on the true person underneath the façade and beneath all of the uncertainty. This is Love! That I am allowed see what is broken in people and I am willing to partake in the sweet offering of anything that You gave me to help them grow closer to You. This is Love…and I love people, and when I don’t…it pains me. When I cannot put myself aside! When I cannot remove the hurt or erase a trespass someone has committed against me! When I cannot unknow what I think I know about them in order to love them anew each day; to appreciate who they are becoming, at Your Hand, in this very moment! When I cannot love, it torments me! It robs my mind of peace and I ruminate on Your Love for me and how in so many instances I fall short of returning that act of kindness. I have never been able to stand the loss of harmony; not even before I knew You knew me. It is a gift, a desire You have placed so deep into my heart that even when I did not understand the raw nature of Your love, I was compelled from the depth of my being to offer grace and strive for love towards others! It has been my fight and I anticipate that it always will be. Love embarks on a journey of healing and healing is what Your Son came to offer throughout His journey. And I am honored to be invited into the freedom to love. And I am challenged by it. I long to reach the point where I can love free of myself…and it is a work in progress…that I thank You for…and as I fade…You transfigure within me! Lord please do not stop teaching me how You love and please free up those places in me that are still rebelling against this call! I desperately need You to show me how; I know You will and I am grateful….may I rest in Your arms as I close my eyes this night. Amen